Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with evils, cause heartache, and other harms. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness issue, finances, age dissimilarity, spiritual education, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married woman.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking affair. I think generally though it is only the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can turn the longing on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos people has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but the public also. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is very good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You would need to reduce the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest cluster, colossal truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to look after. Your money are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair sometimes solves the problem while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a regular cause I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a large humber of reasons. As a male I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be compassion is not here, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply developed separately, our general interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair